THE PAIN OF LOVE THAT WILL NOT HEAL COMPELLS SOMEONE TO BE SEX FRIEND!

CİSED HONORARY PRESİDENT DR. CEM KEÇE: "SEX FRIEND" IS CONTRARY TO HUMAN NATURE!"

"Sex friend" means this situation that people come together in order to have sex only. Firstly, this is into people's live with American series"Sex and City" and "sex friend" comes to order with Nathalie Portman is a central role in "Sex Friend", 2011. Theme of this film is away from ant kind of emotional connects. In other words, they do not feel love and dependence each other, they only come together to sex. Cinsel Sağlık Enstitüsü Derneği (CİSED), sexual therapists call attention that In our country, this type of relationship style, which is against the traditional customs and rituals, have started to increase in recent years.

 

"SEX FRIEND" IS CONTRARY TO HUMAN NATURE!

CISED Honorary President Dr. Cem Keçe underlines that Sexuality which is inherent in human nature and love are very special feelings and Dr. Keçe continues, "Sexuality, that is the absence of emotion, does not make people happy. Only sex is a mechanical action. Things always are incomplete in this kind of relationship. Actually, individual looks for an essential element which is love and be loved; trust and compassion. Mass media have become commonplace since the 2000s so attention increases to sex. This situation causes that some people make for different pursuits. After idiom of "sex friend" is taboo, this begins to become commonplace in our country. Sex is more powerful than Love for people, who have a high dissatisfaction feeling and enter into the expectation of pleasure. In other words, idiom of "sex friend" is always but people have not been known because of the fact that media or anybody have talked about this too much. But actually "sex friend" comes to order in Turkey. Conversely, this case drags people into loneliness and unhappiness. There is not restriction to sex friend such as spending the night together or phone the next day… type of this relationship is completely forbidden feelings like jealousy and ownership so love and sex cannot be mixed up. Only these two people are responsible from those under the covers. Moreover these two people only are responsible for their own lives. They cannot need to know each other's life. However, anyway, sex friend, that excludes emotion, is contrary to the nature of human!"

WOULD YOU HAVE NEVER SEX WITHOUT LOVE?

CİSED President of the General Psychiatry Specialist Doç. Dr. Cebrail Kısa says; "If couple's expectations are mutual, sex relationship can be long term. Especially, this situation seems American and European middle-aged women that attach important to their careers and do not want to spend time and energy for regular relationships". Dr. Kısa agrees with Canadian sexologist Sophie Brousseau and says; ". Actually, idiom of sex friend begins to be only used for people who come together for sexual intercourse in our country. Individuals, who want to live this relationship, select especially women who are married, without love, confidence, control their emotional impulse such as restrictions and jealousy, outside men's families and social environments. At first glance, this relationship reel some people in, the end of this finishes in disappointment. "Sex friend" turns into a relationship that is "use and used" and this relationship causes that used people feel worthless and as a result of this, people are a serious depression. Some people are addict to sex from sex friend. This is a sexual dysfunction that requires therapy. Moreover, if person consequently sexes with different people, person can have "sexually diseases".

THE PAIN OF LOVE THAT WILL NOT HEAL COMPELLS SOMEONE TO BE SEX FRIEND!

CİSED Secretary-General Psychologist Serap Güngör says; "Man and women, who select "sex friend", generally have "an unimproved pain love". These people do not want to have a new emotional relationship in order not to suffer again". And Psy. Güngör continues, "They want to sex freely away from the responsibility and these situations seem a repair relationship and a way of coping with depression for people who are wounded love. However, this defense mechanism is not a solution. Person can lose self-confidence and respect and this causes more serious problems. People generally try to struggle a pain of love on their own but some people can take a wrong turning such as "sex friend" from negative childhood memories. It benefits that People should get therapy for intense sadness, abandonment and loss".

WELL, LATER…

Idiom of Sex Friend has very negative consequences such as sentences of "In the beginning, we make love to each other only once a week. I fall in love with him in the length of time but he is only interested in my body. I feel an used rag and I begin hate myself". CİSED Board of Directors Psychologists Kemal Özcan calls attention that Couples can not comply with rules which they talk about in the first time in order that this relationship is mixed with emotion. This situation can make an intractable problem. This problem is that person fall in love with another or person wants other more and also person feels used and abandoned man/woman in the event of unilateral termination of the relationship. On this account, these ara more important problems that emotional dissatisfaction, feeling used, being anxiety by the society and the risk of being in love with a sex friend. Psy. Özcan underlines, "We should stand on them. When person adds sexuality in friendship, friendship can be finished if this relationship is finished. Consequently, they should choose from friendship and sexuality".